Protecting and Nurturing the Muslim Household
The bringing up of a child begins when a person looks for marriage. Initially when a person seeks a spouse they should look for a good and righteous person. As this is the basis for the future for them and their children.
So Islām wants for everyone to understand their roles in nurturing the household – from before marriage all the way up to the birth and growth of a child.
And especially in the difficult times we are in; where the fitnah is great; and the natural fitrah of children is under attack- it is most vital to know and have the tools and means to protecting their family and children. The basis of this protection is to seek knowledge first – so that you have a strong base of knowledge to deflect any fitnah that may befall you.
Discipline your child for indeed you will be question about him. What did you discipline him upon, what did you teach him? He will be questioned regarding being good to you, fulfilling your rights and obedience to you.Abdullah ibn Umar
How to discipline a child:
- Make dua to Allah, you can succeed in anything except with the Aid from Allah. You should constantly make dua to Allah.
- Be just between the children in all matters. The prophet said “Be just and fair between your children, be just and fair between your children, be just and fair between your children”.
- Giving care to their character because a child grows upon that which he becomes accustomed to and has been nurtured upon.
- Keep children away from idle talk, music, obscene talk, evil speech and innovation when they start to become aware of things.
- Put effort into teaching children. Knowledge is not gained with relaxation and laziness.
- They should be given activities to do.
- A child must be accustomed to wake up at the last part of the time (for prayer), that’s when the sustained is divided. If a child is trained upon this from a young age, it becomes easier later.
- A child must be kept away from excessive eating, sleeping and sinning.
- They should be protected from affairs that can intoxicate them and from accompanying those who may corrupt them, and taking from them, for they will lose their shame.
- Boys should be protected from wearing silk.
- If a child shows aptitude to a certain skill and is interested in it, one should encourage and aid him upon that.
Ibn Uthaymeen on the parents:
When you instruct you child to do a certain affairs there are two ways:
- Do this or stay awa from this. This could have the effect of disciplining the child on that. There is a more effective method:
- That you mention the evidence along with the action. That you mention the prophet, peace be upon him said or Allah said
With the second you acquire two things, discipline and ittibaa’ – following the evidence and following the book of Allah.
Recorded at the Salafi Centre of Manchester and streamed LIVE on Sunnah Radio on 14/10/18