and Nurturing the Muslim Household
The bringing up of a child begins when a person looks for
marriage. Initially when a person seeks a spouse they should look for a good
and righteous person. As this is the basis for the future for them and their
So Islām wants for everyone to understand their roles in
nurturing the household – from before marriage all the way up to the birth and
growth of a child.
And especially in the difficult times we are in; where the
fitnah is great; and the natural fitrah of children is under attack- it is most
vital to know and have the tools and means to protecting their family and
children. The basis of this protection is to seek knowledge first – so that you
have a strong base of knowledge to deflect any fitnah that may befall you.
Discipline your child for indeed you will be question about him. What did you discipline him upon, what did you teach him? He will be questioned regarding being good to you, fulfilling your rights and obedience to you.
Abdullah ibn Umar
How to discipline a child:
- Make dua to Allah, you can
succeed in anything except with the Aid from Allah. You should constantly make
dua to Allah.
- Be just between the
children in all matters. The prophet said “Be just and fair between your
children, be just and fair between your children, be just and fair between your
- Giving care to their
character because a child grows upon that which he becomes accustomed to and
has been nurtured upon.
- Keep children away from
idle talk, music, obscene talk, evil speech and innovation when they start to
become aware of things.
- Put effort into teaching
children. Knowledge is not gained with relaxation and laziness.
- They should be given
activities to do.
- A child must be accustomed
to wake up at the last part of the time (for prayer), that’s when the sustained
is divided. If a child is trained upon this from a young age, it becomes easier
- A child must be kept away
from excessive eating, sleeping and sinning.
- They should be protected
from affairs that can intoxicate them and from accompanying those who may
corrupt them, and taking from them, for they will lose their shame.
- Boys should be protected
from wearing silk.
- If a child shows aptitude
to a certain skill and is interested in it, one should encourage and aid him
Ibn Uthaymeen on the parents:
When you instruct you child to do a certain affairs there
are two ways:
- Do this or stay awa from
this. This could have the effect of disciplining the child on that. There is a
more effective method:
- That you mention the
evidence along with the action. That you mention the prophet, peace be upon him
said or Allah said
With the second you acquire two things, discipline and
ittibaa’ – following the evidence and following the book of Allah.
Recorded at the Salafi Centre of Manchester and streamed LIVE on Sunnah Radio on 14/10/18